The Ceremony
On Saturday 13th November 2004 between 2 and 5 pm we welcomed Ben into the world with a LifeRites ceremony at the Hadley Bowling Green pub, Droitwich. The ceremony was performed by Allan Jones.
Introduction
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: I’d like to welcome you all here today to the naming of Benjamin Matthew Allen.
Before we begin, could I ask that all mobile phones, pagers, alarms and so on please be switched off or silenced for the duration of the ceremony. Thank you.
While that’s happening, I’ll explain a little about what we’re doing here today. We’re here today for a naming ceremony. The idea of a naming ceremony is that it allows a family to welcome a new member and to introduce them to the family. In this particular ceremony, we’ll have a couple of readings, as well as a series of promises from sponsors, grandparents, and from Ben’s parents and his brother. These promises will ensure that Ben has a group of people willing to help him grow as a person throughout his life.
The most important part of today, however, is you. You’re all here today to witness and to be a part of Welcoming Ben into this family. There will also be a Book of Welcome passed around afterwards for you all to sign and to write a personal message for Ben.
So, let’s start with our first reading. I’d like to introduce Kathy Allen, who’ll be reading The Naming of Cats by T.S. Eliot.
First Reading
The Naming Of Cats by T.S. Eliot
Read by Kathy Allen
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey–
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter–
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover–
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.
Promises to Jonathan Alexander from his Grandparents
If I could ask the grandparents to step forward, we’ll begin with their promises for Ben.
I’ll read out the promises, and at the end you reply with ‘We promise’.
Do you collectively and individually promise to always listen to Ben’s views and try to recognise when attitudes have changed? To create situations and opportunities for fun on outings and visits with Ben and his brother Jon? To spoil Ben rotten when you have the opportunity? To teach Ben to be kind and considerate of other people? To be his best friends? To show him his granddad’s model railway and let him enjoy running the trains? To be ready to advise, encourage and comfort ben when he feels his parents don’t understand him? To help to teach him to enjoy reading and to know it as a pleasure? To love him always and be there for him for as long as you are able?
Response This we promise.
Promises From Sponsors
Thank you, grandparents. If I can now ask the sponsors to step forward?
Do you collectively and individually promise to make Ben as welcome in your family as your own children? To know that there is a friendly face and a supportive ear in your home? To guide Ben through his most challenging years? To teach him the value of loyalty and friendship? To be his friend? To be approachable for him, and to treat him with respect? To encourage him to not take life too seriously, to enjoy life to the full, and to take pleasure in the simple things in life? To smile and laugh with him; to enjoy his company, and appreciate his own unique qualities? To help promote a multi-cultural awareness in him; and in due course, to introduce him to the pleasures of Guinness; James Joyce, and the Craic? To not be offended when he outscore us on the latest Playstation games? To listen to him; to believe in his dreams; and to be ‘there’ for him when he wants you to? To teach him about Christianity so that if he rejects it when he is older he will have something on which to base his decision? To look after him whenever he needs you, especially when his parents go on holiday? To teach your own children to love Ben and his siblings so that they will always be friends?
Response This we promise.
Ben’s sponsors are: Tim and Clare Murphy, Luci Hughes, Jenni Wadhams
Second Reading
‘Love You Forever’ by Robert Munsch
Read by Tim Murphy
Before we carry on with the promises from Ben’s brother Jon and his parents, Tim will read ‘Love You Forever’ by Robert Munsch. There are some great pictures in the book, so any children are more than welcome to come up to the front here to see them while the story is being read.
A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him she sang:
‘I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.’
That baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books out of the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the fridge and he took his mother’s watch and flushed it down the toilet! Sometimes the mother would yell, ‘This child is driving me crazy.’
But at night-time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, tiptoed across the floor and looked down at his bed. If he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and sang:
‘I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.’
That little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was eight years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner and he never wanted to take a bath and when Grandma visited he sometimes said bad words at the dinner table. Sometimes the mother wanted to sell him to the zoo!
But at night-time, when he was asleep, the mother quietly opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep she picked up that eight-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:
‘I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.’
The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He wore strange clothes and had strange friends and listened to strange music. Sometimes his mother felt like she was in a zoo.
But at night, his mother opened the door to his room, crept across the floor and looked down at the bed. If that teenager was really asleep she kissed him on the cheek and sang:
‘I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.’
Well, that teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a flat on the other side of town.
But sometimes on dark nights the mother took a bus across town. If all the lights in her son’s house were out, she let herself in, tiptoed upstairs and looked at the bed. If that great big man was really asleep she kissed him on the cheek and whispered:
‘I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.’
Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, ‘You’d better come and see me because I am really old and sick.’ So the son went to see his mother and when he came in the door she tried to sing the song:
‘I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you… ‘
But she was too old and sick to finish the song.
The son went to his mother, hugged her and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and sang:
‘I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living
My mother you’ll be.’
When the son came home that night he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and sang:
‘I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.’
Promises from Parents and Jon
Thank you, Tim. Now if I can ask the sponsors to step forward for their promises?
Finally, I’d like ask Ben’s parents and his brother Jon to step forward for their promises.
Do you collectively and individually promise to respect Ben as an individual? To teach him to respect others and himself? To give him the security he needs to grow physically, emotionally and spiritually? To help Ben to appreciate the world around him and to see it in fresh ways every day? To give him the confidence and support to follow his dreams? To love Ben unconditionally?
Response This we promise.
Welcome Ben into the Family
All that remains for us to do now is to officially welcome Ben into the family. I’d like to ask his big brother Jon to do the honours. Jon, would you please welcome Ben into the family by giving him a hug and saying ‘Welcome to the family, Ben’? [Jon hugs and kisses Ben].
And with that, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Ben has been welcomed into the family. I’d like you all to join me in a toast to Ben, so if you’d all please raise your glasses: Ben, you’re now a part of this family, surrounded by people who’ve promised to help you be all that you can be. May you live a long and happy life, and always be surrounded by such people. To Ben! [and we all drink…]
